Paper Monitor
11:12 UK time, Wednesday, 2 May 2007
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
There's a lot of hysteria today and not all of it about the sudden resignation of BP's chief executive after "lying to a court about his relationship with another man" (that's how the Guardian plays it; the Daily Mirror prefers "SILLY OLD FUEL", and the Daily Mail comes out all guns blazing... no surprise, given that the Mail on Sunday was involved in the court case).
So what is it that has the papers so aerated? Only a certain supermodel's clothes going on sale at a certain High Street chain.
"HYSTERIA AND THE GREAT KATE MOSS CON" shrieks the Mail, which appears to have had a little too much sugar on its porridge. Paper Monitor's heart sinks even further on seeing the byline "By Liz Jones".
Fortunately, the sub-editors save the bother of reading the inevitable "it's all about me" copy by adding the headline: "Our fashion columnist joined the mob fighting to buy Kate Moss's new clothing range. Her verdict? Tacky outfits. Hugely inflated prices. And a blind worship at the alter of celebrity that defies belief."
And buyers model their purchases for the paper. A 17-year-old says that while she likes her purchases, "I feel like I was caught up in the hype". She spent £230 on five garments, each the size of a pocket handkerchief.
G2, meanwhile, plays a smarter fashion hand by getting three of its writers to dress up as a celebrity, courtesy of said celebs' fashion collections. "Will wearing them make you look like a star... or a tragic wannabe?"
Hadley Freeman, a , wears Kate Moss's poppy-print mini-dress, her favourite piece in the collection because, "almost uniquely, it doesn't require its wearer to be Kate Moss's physical twin to look halfway OK".
Another zips herself into Madonna's corset-like pencil skirt and, realising that this is not an outfit in which to cycle to the office, walks to the bus stop. "For the first time in my life, I sashay." But while the outfit makes her move like the Material Girl, she concludes that the range makes her look more Jessica Rabbit than Madonna. Which, Paper Monitor thinks, cannot be a bad thing.
And the last hoists herself first into a Lily Allen (via New Look) ball gown and peep-toe stilettos. Her boyfriend describes the look as "Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars", a comparison Lily herself might approve of... although she'd probably process down the red carpet with box-fresh trainers peeking from under the ruffles.
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