Hares: Stop Racing Ahead of the Turtles
I am a painfully slow walker, and I mean that literally. Walking really hurts when your ankles are so damaged you're waiting to get them replaced. I've gotten used to going at a snail's pace, but it's still a pain in the arse when I'm crossing at intersections. I'm always deathly afraid some jackass will see the light turn green, and barrel into me before I'm safely on the sidewalk.
It drives me nuts that friends and acquaintances don't always remember to keep pace with me. If two pals are walking down the street together, they stay abreast of one another, right? Not with me. They keep pace for two seconds, and then they forget I'm crippled and next thing I know, they're half a block ahead of me. It really annoys the hell out of me. How hard is it to remember to keep pace with a slow walker? I know it's a bit irritating to have to walk slowly, but sheesh, it's good manners to wait for your friend.
I have a friend who walks incredibly slowly with her one crutch. When I was more mobile, it actually hurt me to walk with her, because having to stay on my feet that long made me really sore. But you know what? It was worth it to behave courteously towards a friend. How come not all of the people in my social circle can get that?
I used to scold people for doing it to me when I was a kid, but inevitably, they'd make it about them. "I can't walk that slow!" Suck it up, buttercup. You can and you should. Do people have any idea how it makes me feel when they leave me behind? I'm not talking about doing it once, and then learning from it. I'm talking about people who constantly seem to forget I'm crippled, and race ahead of me. It makes me feel really devalued.
At least some adults get it. When I was a kid, no one ever bothered to slow their pace for me. I was always expected to keep up with the gang, or too bad for me.
Zephyr's message to the bipedal ABs: SLOW DOWN AND WAIT FOR ME!!! It's good manners. Thank you.
• Visit
*May contain adult content*
Comments
I'm autistic and dyspraxic, and i actually CAN'T "walk that slowly" - my co-ordination won't let me. If i try to walk slower than a certain speed, then i just... stop. I think it's kind of like an engine stalling if it goes below a certain speed...
The only way that i can keep together with someone who walks a lot slower than me is to keep stopping. Walk a bit, stand still for a bit. Walk a bit, stand still for a bit. Walk a bit, stand still for a bit... this tends to annoy both me and the person i'm with after a while...
It sounds to me like you really ought to have a scooter or a wheelchair, if it's physically painful for you to walk anywhere. I have several friends who can walk, but still use wheelchairs, because if they had to walk outside the house, the pain, fatigue and/or likelihood to fall over would just make them never leave the house. Courtesy to a friend is one thing, but no one should have to put themselves through physical pain for it IMO - a friend shouldn't want to cause their friend suffering...
(Unless you *want* the pain, of course... ;) )
There's someone i occasionally see in the city centre, who works in a shop, walking excruciatingly slowly (probably less than half a mile an hour), literally dragging both of his legs along while putting nearly all his weight on his crutches. It probably takes him the whole of his lunch hour to get to the chip shop or sandwich shop and back. I really don't understand why he doesn't get a wheelchair...
Interesting. I both agree with you and agree with the previous commenter (and this is why I will never become a politician. I agree with everyone). It's definitely painful for some people to walk very slowly. I have to keep up a reasonable pace (for me - which is slower than most people walk), or my joints start screaming obscenities at me, and it can have me in severe pain for DAYS afterwards. On the other hand, your story about slowing down for your friend even though it hurt did make me think that I could make more of an effort with people who walk more slowly than me. It's a tricky one. To what extent should we enable others, if it ends up disabling us?
Shiva - You are forgiven, you have a reasonable excuse. I *do* have a wheelchair, but I don't have to use it everywhere. I can handle walking a few blocks with a friend.
lilwatchergirl and shiva - Friends should make compromises. Like, with my really slow friend, I'll keep pace with her if she lets me take sit-down breaks.
It's about having manners and courtesy. If it's impossible to keep pace with one another, fine, but I'll bet 95% of the walkies can slow down for me with no problems.
Story of my life: my friends, my children, and even my boyfriend end up a half a block ahead of me before they look back and notice that I am way back down the street. I wonder if they had been enjoying their conversation with their self.
I can understand that they are used to walking faster, but it hurts that they didn't even miss me during that whole half a block walking without me.