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Meanwhile, Shane Warne, who arrived with Justin Langer, skulked outside smoking a crafty fag.

About 100 England fans are also in town, with many more due on Monday.

They are sensibly staying out of the sun (for now) and I caught up with half a dozen Manchester lads who have tickets for Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne.

With the team having had a good week on the field, they were in high spirits, and could not resist scoffing at some of the local newspaper columns they had read which have rubbished England鈥檚 chances.

Some were glancing at a TV in the Pig 鈥檔 Whistle pub showing a one-day match between Tasmania and New South Wales.

Nathan Bracken was playing for NSW in that match on the day his wife Haley made the cover of the colour supplement of the Sunday Telegraph.

In the picture, she is dressed in a cricket sweater and precious little else. 鈥淢arried to the Mob鈥� is the strapline of a feature on Australia鈥檚 .

In a storyline that seems to be dragged from a Hollywood teen flick, Nathan spotted the 鈥渢hen-blonde鈥� Haley in a cheerleading competition three years ago, and tracked down her phone number.

Sadly, Haley, 24, has already tired of the lifestyle. 鈥淚 just felt sidelined because I was following him around rather than concentrating on what I want to do.鈥�

Honestly, there鈥檚 no pleasing them. Spare a thought, Haley, for Pat Crawford鈥檚 wife.

When Australia toured England in 1956, Mrs C was thrown off the team ship and had to board another boat from Melbourne.

Your correspondent is another fairly weary traveller.

On Saturday night, I had a quick stopover in Sydney, where I had a few beers with an old friend, his English wife and some mates of theirs.

In the balmy evening air, under the canopy of a giant eucalyptus tree, Scott鈥檚 friend Hamish told me Adam Gilchrist would not last to the end of the series and Monty Panesar wouldn鈥檛 get a game.

But the real crisis for Sydneysiders is the . 鈥淪eventeen dollars a kilo!鈥� wailed Hamish鈥檚 partner Ally. (If she鈥檚 right, that makes them more expensive than tiger prawns.)

Apparently a cyclone in the north of the country decimated production and forced a massive price hike. Best gift to take to a dinner party in Sydney? You got it, a crate of elongated yellow fruit.

In Queensland, they seem to be a bit cheaper.

The drive from Brisbane airport takes you past colourful avenues of jacaranda trees and the first main junction features a huge sign asking you to choose Gold Coast (left) or Sunshine Coast (right).

Given that 36 hours previously I had been staring at the rain-sodden roof-tiles of Hounslow on the way to the airport, I admit I was slightly tempted to ask the driver to take me straight to the beaches.