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Vicky Pollard is your common-or-garden teenage delinquent, the sort you can see hanging around any number of off licences in Britain, trying to persuade people going inside to buy them 10 fags and a bottle of White Lightening.

Whether nicking stuff from the supermarket or swapping her baby for a Westlife CD, Vicky reacts to any accusation with indignant outrage, while filling you in on 'this fing wot you know nuffin about'.

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Vicky at the doctors

Doctor: OK Vicky, you can put your clothes back on. Well, after having a good look at you it's pretty obvious to me what the diagnosis is.

Vicky: I got the lurgy. Yeah I know because there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny and a bit of it landed in my hair because Kelly hates Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots.

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