SARAH KENNEDY'S GEORGE MICHAEL JOKE
Tonight's show will feature many things as always, some we know about and some we don't know about, not yet at least. However for sure it will feature SARAH KENNEDY'S George Michael joke, told by....
...Sarah herself.
It's a belter peeps.
Now here's a tale of the last Thursday in the month every quarter. For this is the day we receive our listening figures.It's a day most of us dread and those who say they do not, are, to put it plainly, lying.
Here's the thing... if the figures are down, then we feel thoroughly miserable, we feel like all our hard work was aimed in the wrong direction. We question whether we are talking too much or playing the wrong music. Maybe we've been trying too hard. Maybe this, maybe that, or simply MAYBE NO ONE LIKES US ANYMORE !
But even worse.... if our listening figures go up ! The best we ever feel is relief, just dogged relief, we don't feel jubilant or victorious or exultant. But we should, shouldn't we ?
And guess what ? From now on we've decided that's exactly what's going to happen.
Today is one of those days, we have gone up (our listening figures) and we've decided we must learn to celebrate, so the team, i.e. the lot of us, are going out for a slap up meal and there's more... we've also decided that when the figures next go down, as they're bound to, we're going to go to the pub and console each other and talk it through and get drunk basically.
So, it's restaurants for success and pubs for failings.
Only three more months to go till we feel like this again.
XXX.
CLP
2007.
Comments
ha ha CLP
I know of someone who works on a local radio station up here (well a "national " station in SCotland in reality). They too look on the day of the receipt of the figures with equal measures of excitement and intrepidation, and have, since they all got together, celebrated or drowned their sorrows on that day since.
Quite often makes for a very interesting programe on the Friday morning, as quite often, the breakfast crew turn up at the studio straight from the celebrations!
I'm sitting thinking about reasons why we should celebrate on a week to week basis. Perhaps the fact that I have managed to stay in the one job for more than 24 months?
DWNB
Congratulations, CLP (and team)! Have a cold lager beer or two for me!
DPJ (former lurker, lurking no more)
Ello, ello, ello,
Bingo Star in the 'ouse ere.
CLP - yer see yer were puttin' yersen down yesterdee and low & be'old yer listener numbers are up all damn ready - WROCKIN'!!!!!!!!!!!
Pheonix - I read your comments yesterdee & terdee - Thanks Pheonix!
Never mind The Kay & The Gervais, it's the battle of the big commedy giants - The Star & The Wilsmar!!!!!
Phoenix (your comments yesterdee) talkin' of wit don't stress me out with easter talk. I 'aven't even got me Christmas gifts sorted yet.
Oh sorry it's Whit not Wit.... oh shhhh.......
Sorry gettin' mixed up!
Wlismar - Yer joke earlier on yesterdees blog - Now I know why me realtionship ended recently.
In modelling meself on Tiger Woods perfection used ter go 'ome after playing golf with me golf shoes cleaned & immaculate!!!!
No damn wonder she must 'ave thought I waz 'avin' an affair..... life just ain't fair!!!
PS CLP - Talkin' of jokes I 'ear Wrightie 'as just 'ad Micheal Winner on 'is shoe, sorry show!
Wanna 'ear me short Winner advert joke :
An irrate motorist was shouting at me as me large HGV was obstructing their path.....
I said "calm down... it's only a commercial vehicle!!!!!!!!!!"
Chinqweeeeeeee blog firends!
Chow!
Well done, chaps (and chappesses)! Keep it up, keep it up,
- whats on the cards tomight, italian, steak, sushi . . .???
Have a glass of red on me and send me the invoice . .
DB x
Congrats on the success CLP!! Great stuff and always nice to hear you're liked by more and more people! Hope you have a good meal with the team - you deserve it for producing great shows to cheer us up after long days at work and dreary evening journeys.
Will be listening tonight whilst trying to get ideas for a meeting about our pantomime (5 weeks to go, nearly Christmas - argh!) and not envying all the people at work who are having tomorrow off for a long weekend to end half term...apart from me.
Cat x
Hey Chris and co!
Well done on the figures!
Well tonight I am going running, I have been running for months, but still every time I am set to go I get a rush of panic in my head and a rollof excuses go crashing through the brain!
The thing is when i go and its actually ok I always get such a sense of pride and well being! I wonder if I ever just look forward to it!
Well everyone nearly the weekend and there is crispness that is hinting towards long walks with a very daft dog!
Love em26x
One sure fire way to keep me on board Chris is to desist with the tv theme tunes 10 minutes into EVERY programme - there is no need and I have to admit that if the first song has been a bit dodgy, the intro a bit iffy and the preceding day a bad one then if the Waltons or whatever start up I'm liable to flick the cd on and spend the rest of the trip away from Radio 2.
Don't get me wrong, I love the kid's encore, women's minute, the topical interview, fox the fox, office news and the general quality and variery of the music but the same tune at the same time on the same day is getting to be too much!!!!!
Great to have Chris back! Can't believe how much i missed him...been loving the wine features, especially as i brew my own.
Anyone know what happened to Martin? I havn`t seen him blog for ages.
C
Oh I missed the joke, tuned in to hear 'careless whisper' playing. What was it, can anyone help? xx
Thanks for playing the joke again CLP, I just had to know what it was!
Enjoy your celebratory meal, you all deserve it, love the show. When I get a chance to listen to it!
Just lost another pet this evening. Mr Debbie made me promise 'no more pets' as the sadness is too much when they go. Eldest boy has been at Thorpe Park all day and his dad is picking him up from the station later and will tell him then. Only took her to the vets on Tuesday night to be told there was nothing wrong with her!
Anyway, hope you have all had a good day.
Missy how are you, are you busy and loved up?
Debbie xx
P.S Bingo I heard Michael Winner on Wrightie's show earlier and he was very funny. Love yours and Wilsmar's jokes by the way x
Evening all! Haven' been having pc probs so I havent been on in a while.
Good man yourself Christy on the listning figures, shows more people are copping on to what we already know, let us know tomorrow what you had for dinner!
No sign of whats in the bump coming out yet......... due on Sat!!!!!!!! MY NERVES.
I used to love that wispa joke, but not as much as I love the choc, have taken to bulk buying them as you never know where youll find them, I hope they bring back the caramel ones too!
iam so glad your back chris!i work in a school cleaning and you and your team keep me company and laughing while i work.in my department it can be quite eere in the dark nights more so.keep up the good work!x julie from darlington co durham.
Hi Chris, Good your listener figures up, but who needs figures we knew it already.
Chris!
Great to hear you are such a fan of my Sarah! Thanks for the wonderful things you had to say about her tonight. Had no idea you were such an attentive Dawn Patroller. But you're a bright guy, so i should have guessed you would be!
Adrian Much Beloved
Hey Fella !! Heres a thing , my Mrs used to watch you all the time without missing . It was religion ! DFYToothbrush onwards . I couldnt stand you . But hear we are years later and I found myself missing you the last couple of weeks mate . Im actually a fan !! See how people can change? Is it you or is it me ?
I spent forever and a day yesterday (Thursday - other days available) trying to post, as I'm sure did EVERYONE else...I do so hope it's fixed!
Anyhoo, CHRISTOPHE AND THE DRIVETIME TEAM!! HALLOOOOOOO-HOOOO!!!
Many congratulations on your figures and to Radio 2 for coming out on top too.
I shall be checking my figure over the next couple of days, but that's not for here.
Happy ARF day all
bonbons
love
hazel
x
gaby, can I have some ps
Hey Chris,
Hope you enjoyed your celebratory meal. I think everything in lief should be toasted with good food and great booze, especially if there is no actual reason for it - makes it all better, don't you agree?
Are you still off dairy, by the way? How's that going?
Rosie Roo x
ive not listened for a week dont count me as a listener down im just having a radio holiday get it......
Good Morning all - well done CLP and team - you deserve all the praise and great listener figures you get! In fact when you go on hols I'd be happy if you'd just play repeats of old shows!!!
Don't know whether the 'funny DJ' convo was yesterday or the day before, but Chris, like it or not, you ARE funny!! Or maybe it's cos you're funny as a team - still thinking of Trumpgate ... :-)))
Well I'm feeling so much better. Phoenix, thanks for sharing with me the other day - did try to say thanks several times but blog was being very naughty. Am so looking forward to the weekend.
Big Bump - GOOD LUCK!!!!
T xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ola one and all
Is anybody there? I don't seem able to blog perhaps Iv'e got the sack.
Plum. I am here. How is the kitchen going? Did you get some more estimates, or have you learned to brandish a trowel? Badger was suitably concerned too I have to say.
Oh it is working!
Just to say hello to all and thanks Hazel the house is an ongoing saga! Still waiting another plasterer to quote.. Will let you know the outcome.
Drive time figures no surprise is it. Great Show.
Christoph
I'm rather pleased that they voted against a ban on snacking.
After all, where do these jumped up bureaucrats get off telling me that I can't have my dried apricots or sunflower seeds when those mid-morning hunger pangs kick in.
I mean, honestly.
Had a rather fab curry last night with several bottles of a well known Indian thirst quencher and I am paying the price today. It'll have to be a quiet one tonight as we're going to do it all again tomorrow night.
A little bit posher.
Have a fab weekend.
Peace & love
MfR
PS A Graveyard of Empty Bottles
Well done with the listener figures, Chris.
Who needs figures as we all know you have proved well on drive time for Radio 2.
Best Regards
Mark
Well if it isn't Mark Occomore from the radio 2 message boards of old.
You see Mark all those Johnnie Walker Lovies were wrong were they not.
BuenosDias
PS Ground control to Major Tom....
Good news CLP on the listening figures - you sure do entertain on the way home.
I hope the blog is fixed this today and that this gets through.
Tinsel thanks for the vote of confidence.
Bingo as ever I enjoy your wit.
Hazel I hope you are feeling better.
Big bump - I hope all goes well at the weekend and the little bump will be a bundle of joy.
Phoenix
Hi Plum,
I liked Jonny Walker's drivetime show when it was on - there was one evening he had me spellbound - he had a visiting musician called "The Bear" on playing the digereedoo I pulled over and just spent the time he was on sitting by the side of the road just listening.
Now I have CLP to listen to and I must have been one of the few people who didn't like his earlier work on TV or Radio but I have grown to like this older version.
My drives home are pleasant and I don't turn over to something else.
Tinsel the reason my nickname is Phoenix is that I have arisen from the ashes of that relationship to where I am now looking forward to all that life brings, if that means another relationship well all to the good. After all it is great to share a sunset walk along the beach with someone.
Phoenix
Hey, I also really enjoyed Jonny Walker's Drivetimw show. I also didn't rate Chris' early tv and radio, but I think he has matured a lot in the last few years, and I am now really enjoying his fab show. I am a convert!
Debbie - I've been trying to say for the last few days - thanks for asking after me (and others) last week. 'Im indoors was made redundant last Tuesday but has just got himself some work from next week, my favourite uncle died suddenly on Saturday and his funeral is on Monday, and yesterday I heard that a mutual acquaintance had died of a heart attack on Monday morning at the age of 51. I've been feeling overwhelmed and haven't been able to see me way clear until just about now .... so thanks, it was much appreciated, and I hope all is well with you and yours, apart from losing another pet of course xx
Anyhoo, Christoph it's lovely to have you back and congrats on the figures! I've been trying to post for the last few days but Error 502 kept rearing its ugly head each time so I went into a long sulk.
jillygoat xx
Can anyone let me know what the George Michael joke was please. I didn't hear it yesterday. I think Sarah Kennedy and CLP would make a great team. She's very funny too
Thanks
Liz
Arfday greetings people......... not sure if this will be a virtual duplicate but I did attempt a posting this morning and it hasn’t yet shown; so may well send this. Yesterday’s took over four hours before it posted and it’s way past that long now. Bingo – no contest .... I only regurgitate the ‘jokes’. Keep up the good work lad.
Hazel – it wasn’t a GM turnover..... I had bought some ‘exotic’ fruit which I was told was an ‘apple custard’??? which if I attempted to describe to you would definitely get me BP’d. Thank you for your concern though and funnily enough I live fairly close to Aldermaston.
Wilsmar
PS Gaby waved to you as I passed the Mad Stad last evening. Could you put your landing light on next time – 18.15ish 22.11.07? Ta.
Hello Liz, the joke was as follows:-
Why did George Michael have chocolate around his mouth?
Because he was careless with his whisper.
xx
Just incase the following was the reason for being BP'd earlier, I am sending (attempting to) it separately.
A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious". Roland the teacher's pet gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious." "Well done, Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?"
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious." "Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?"
Little Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the ****agious."
A pleasant weekend to all.
Wilsmar
Liz, just checked out your website. I used to live in Enfield and I'm thinking about looking for a new job! Small world eh?
xx
Afternoon Christophe and bloggettes
I didn't hear the joke either - are the bp deleting any mention of it?
Hurrah it's Friday - and an extra hour in bed on Saturday night - yay.
MAnge tout, mange tout xx
Oh Jillygoat, poor you! Why do these things always happen all at once? Such sad news for you at the moment. I hope the funeral goes as well as it can do on Monday, sending lots of love xx
Big Bump, Good Luck xx
Phoenix, like the imagery there and good for you xx
So glad that it's Friday. Feet up tonight with a nice takeaway methinks. Tomorrow we have to dig a little hole for a little pet, no more pets once this beloved batch have all passed away.
Have a lovely, lovely weekend everyone.
Debbie xx
Chris, recovering from operation to remove tumor from nerve in my elbow on monday, went for a followup appointment today and was told i was not allowed to drive, lift any thing or work for one month! not one for sitting still - what am i going to do?!
It is a small world Debbie. Let me know if you need any help looking for a new job or if anyone else out there is looking or recruiting, I'd be more than happy to help.
Can anyone give me any good advice, i've got an adult cat and have just got a kitten, thinking it would be nice company for the cat but the cat hates the kitten and they fight all the time. How do you help them to become friends?
Thanks
Liz
Chris
i live in Halifax, West Yokshire and have to say that there are some places here with very odd names e.g. Sod House Green & Slack Bottom. Are there any other strange/odd places names around?
Chris
i live in Halifax, West Yokshire and have to say that there are some places here with very odd names e.g. Sod House Green & Slack Bottom. Are there any other strange/odd places names around?
Hiya Chris. This is my first time ever onto anyones blog!! Pretty cool really. Didn't realise you would have so much on it.
Stuck at home after knee surgery, real bummer. I'm a hundred miles an hour guy so you can imagine how it's getting to me! If this gets to you could you say thanks to my lovely wife Kerena that's KERENA for looking after me!! Between 5pm and 5.50pm Ta. Glad to hear you sounding so comfortable on the radio nowadays. The show fits in really well. I went into one of your photos, took about 10 bloody minutes to come up! Don't you think I have anything better to do while I'm sitting here with nothing to do? I know it's my cheap internet connection but it's all I can afford at the moment, supposed to be saving to get back to NZ. Been back since June, God! it's so expensive here now. We were only in NZ for 6 months, can't believe how it's got to us now. I might attempt to e-mail you a poem I wrote about a little passion we share - GOLF. Guess I just have to get it to Radio 2 with your name on it. Even if we don't get a shout, great show. BJ Xx