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We are proposing to put together a scheme to rival the dating carnival at Lisdoonvarna in Ireland to brighten up the dark winter days in Ness. My cousin Donald and myself are busy putting the final touches to the scheme which was hatched over a bottle of The Bheag and a few McEwans at the Europie bochan. We are thinking of using the Dell Fank as a venue where it will be easy to keep the men and women apart. Also there is a good portable toilet on the site already and excellent bus communications with Town although the last fifty yards to the fank can be boggy! We have a few local cailleachs ready to give it a go and several have been over to town to get new hats and are honing up their baking skills as I write. Donald and I are hoping to secure European funding for the project. After all if a few Morrisons can get a king's ransom to buy an old MacBraynes gang plank to link Eistean to the island, we should have no problem getting a few quid from Brussells. Donald and I are both bachelors so will be spending the first tranche of cash on a fact finding trip to Lisdoonvarna maybe taking in some research in Soho on the way back. Wish us luck in our endeavours - we are doing this for the community. The residents of South Dell are frankly fed up of marauding cailleachs of all ages galloping through the village each evening looking for hapless gentlemen - it reminds them of the old Galson horses rampaging about. Donald and I are thinking of kicking off the matchmaking festival at the beginning of April or Spring when a young man's thoughts turn to - peat cutting!