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As Woolies on the mainland struggles against administration, the future of the Stornoway store has been assured. The island's main retailer, emporio alanjohn has been burning the midnight paraffin at his Lionel HQ with his main advisers, Chrissie Mary Morrison (Miss) head of human resources and Donald head of anything else that needs a head. As Woolies in total was on offer for a pound, alanjohn has successfully bid an old farthing for the one store with the aim of backing it into an offshore trust based in Bernera - that little known tax haven (so much more convenient than the Caymans and no injections needed before travelling). The new store will be called BigAJ and alanjohn looks forward to taking the store back to where it was in the Fifties.
'I will bring my specialist knowledge of Hebridean retailing to this ailing giant,' the Lionel oligarch told reporters from Fios and in an online interview with Fetlar School he laid out his blueprint for the new store.
'Stornoway is a windy place so a good headscarf department is a firm start - getting rid of the record department. Wrapped sweeties make too much noise in church so the ranges will be confined to unwrapped sweets sold loosely. There will a fag and a match counter for the pupils of the Nicolson Institute - there is a surprisong health benefit in this according to alanjohn as nicotine suppresses appetites so, by smoking, pupils will not feel like eating chips. 'My grandmother smoked a clay pipe till she was 92 and she died of pneumonia from a broken hip' the head of BigAJ told a stunned Gazette reporter. Puncture outfits, fencing requisites and haddock hooks are three other areas in which he feels Woolies lost sight of their traditional markets. Paraffin and candles are two other departments the Ness entrepreneur has earmarked for development along with more attention to the needs of the pipe smoker who has long been abandoned in the rush for technological products. What cailleach or bodach wants an X box for goodness sake?' the Ness man quipped.
As he helped unload the first load of boat varnish into the empty back warehouse, an excited alanjohn said 'This is a new beginning for an old Stornoway institution - we are in a new age - we must find new ways of engaging with our customers - on this basis we shall be sponsoring the next Stornoway Communions and rebranding it as Wee and Free to give it a more modern feel. When presssed about Woolworths tie in with 麻豆官网首页入口 Worldwide alanjohn said, 'I am sorry to hear island blogging is coming to an end but as soon as you let poets and cat lovers loose on a website it's days are numbered.
There was too much of an emphasis on soap and homing cats and the site had lost touch with its main base - the guga killers, the sheep rustlers and the poachers of the island. I shall be sorry to see it go and I shant miss that stupid annual dating festival - I got stuck with a wife from the first one and can I get rid of her - can I hell?' On that note he stormed of to sack the staff on the make up counter.

Any other island plans to save their Woolies? Do other island have Woolies?
I know there's branch of MFI on the Shiant Islands.