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16 October 2014

calumannabel


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The Banking Meltdown - Public Information Bulletin from CM Morrison (Miss)

As the public face of the Broadford and Finlay Building Society I wish to allay the fears of all our investors from Barra to the Butt and from Dell to Dalmally
( enough alliteration get on with it woman) that our lending book is toxic. Admittedly my mother is a couple of months in arrears on her mortgage with us but she hopes to rectify things at the Bingo this week as she's sure it's her turn for the jackpot. As for us having Murdo John's blackhouse on our books at 拢1.25m, this was a simple typing error from an employee we had recently on a scheme. It is the same typist sent an email out concerning buy to let to our branch offices and the typo was the reason we have bought so many public conveniences ( think about it). We will continue to put sponsorship money into the Fank and we will be backing the Cross Inn Dominoes Team as we are certain Dominoes will feature in the 2012 Olympics. We are hoping to record a new commercial using Howard now redundant from the Halifax singing 'Don't cry for us Aunt Murdina' as a house in Brue is repossessed. We as a company feel this will let people know what happens if they default with us here at the Broadford. So to use another company's slogan, 'The future's bright there's nothing to worry your wee heads aboot'
PS Our offices and cash machines will be closed for the next few days until I return from the Cayman Islands.
Yours
Chrissie Mary Morrison (Miss)

Posted on calumannabel at 12:40

Comments

The Broadford&Finlay Building Society doesn't have a douce wee receptionist called Jennet by any chance?

Flying Cat from a well-crammed casebook


Under the Data Protection Act we at the Broadford cannot reveal the names of any of our employees.

Jennet (Morrison) from Reception


Is it true that the B & F is going to take over Goldman Sachs to get them out of difficulty? What does its NY office say to these rumours?

Jill from EK


A Jennet was a small Spanish horse, and here's the spooky bit, "noted for a smooth ambling gait, compact and well-muscled build..." I wonder if this description bears any resemblance to any person living or dead who can't be mentioned...

Flying Cat from guga search engine


Why, EffCee, how kind of you!

Barney from Swithiod saucing it


Raley Ceptin, you are a one...es ay may hev mentioned...

Flying Cat from all furcoat nae drawers


At the rate ibloggers are going trying to speak or write broad Scot, or islandspeak, you'll end up speaking Japanese and not even know it.

mjc from IN, USA


so it was Chrissie Mary it the white rolls going down the hill past my house.....

island threads from south dell


That white Rolls Royce belongs to Murdo John, and he was probably returning with his weekly stash of sardines from Emporiojohn. And no, that was not Murdo driving: Donald was obviously at the wheels if the caboose was going downhill in second gear.

mjc from IN, USA




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