POSITION OF HEAD MATCHMAKER
Posted: Saturday, 17 December 2005 |
Comments
I'm Calum's brother and may well be intersted in the job as the one I have at present is under some threat. Where is Alan John's? Is the shop on the web? I need a writing pad
charles kennedy from The Clearance Inn Westminster
See you got the European Grant then. What sort of nonsense is this? How long does it take to boil a few kettles and then wet the baby's heid at the bothan? Why in my day, etc., etc....
Sorting the men from the bairns
Surprise! Surprise! I'll be available. I'll even have a lorra lorra guga. (Miss Black has her own wedding hats should the need arise and has exrensive experience in the matchmaking arena.)
Cilla from ITV9 (satellite viewers only)
I get a lorra lorra people getting me mixed up with this awful woman from the mainland. Anyone who had a heart would realise this is a hurtful situation. How people can't trell Bubb from Black is beyond me.I will be going to the festival looking for a man to bring back to Back - if you know what I mean. He must be no more than 5feet 10 inches or I'll need to get he builders in. I'm getting my hair done in town for the event - that place upstairs on the square does a good pensioners' special. That way I wont need a hat and no one willl mistake me for the other Cilla.
Cilla Bubb from Back from House next to the Free Church website
UNTIL THE END OF THE MONTH WE WILL ACCEPT EMAIL APPLICATIONS FOR THIS POST SO FIRE AWAY. THIS IS BECAUSE RODDY THE POST HAS ARTHRITIS IN HIS SHOULDER AND HIS AUNTIE LENA HAS TOLD US OFF FOR GIVING HIM TOO MUCH WORK. Auntie Lena's got her name down for the festival - looking for a Scorpio with a credit card!!
CALUMANNABEL from EFFIE MURRAY IND. EST. SOUTH DELL
I hope your no' considerin' lettin yon Charlie Kennedy have anythin to dae wi the Fank, he stole photos fae the Lochaber Mountain Rescue to use for his Chritmas card last year, you can just tell he'll be the type never to buy a round.
GrannyEllie from Auchenshuggle
Charlie has applied for country member status using the party credit card. I didn't get a Christmas card from him last year but what could be more festive than a mountain rescue - the cheerful red Land Rover and the dogs and everyone sitting round drinking myrrh form their hip flasks. The Cameron fella has a brewery named after him but he's sent a card that looks as if its been made by the Little Herochs nursery . TB's card show him and the missus - now if ever a guy needed to get his name down for a dting festival...I rest my case...its full of cans. Is it late shopping tonight in Auchenshuggle?
Frank Incense to Granny Ellie from The Crib and Shepherd North Dell
See Frank, the problem is not the content of Mr Kennedys Crimbo card, actually a beautiful shot of Glencoe, its more the fact that he actually knicked this off the Mountain Rescue website, not so much as a donation to the bar at the Christmas night out I hear. I know this, because my cousin had to be strechered down from the hills last February, Archie has taken to wandering in the hills of a Friday evening with a bottle of the hard stuff, trying to seek out the sofa in yon tv ad, wearing nothing but his long johns bought ten years ago from Callander Stores in Shettleston . The wummin fae Occupational health in the firm of accountants he works for seems to think this is quite normal behaviour!! Ahm no so sure!! Onyway, suffice to say Mr Kennedy was still the talk oh the wash hoose in February, which just shows the strength of feeling this has generated. Not the type that should be encouraged Ill be bound.
GrannyEllie to Frank Incense from Auchenshuggle
Now you know the laundry mart and the coop are the only places opened late on a Tuesday in Auchenshuggle, well and the glass factory, oh, and ra bru factory, of course, but you already knew that. Tuesday as you know is our half day closing, well except the post office, which takes its on a Wednesday because the people running it now used to come fae Cumbernauld.Late night shopping is still a Thursday down here, thats the night the council pay the men and the wummin send the weans intae the pubs to collect the pay packets before they get drunk.Unless ofcourse they are on the incapacity, and thats a Wednesday, so it seems strange that they should take a half day in the post office.
GrannyEllie to Frank Incense from Auchenshuggle
I'm afraid wandering about in long johns supping trawler rum comes with the territory if you're in accountancy. Most of the Lewis beancounters are just the same. Nearly all are booked to attend the extravanza tho whether this is in a bid to find love or new clients is debatable. I found your treatise on early closing in Glasgow suburbia very interesting. Here at the Camel and Magi they close for two hours on an afternoon in April to sweep up and that's it. You speak of a wash house in Auchenshuggle. Do you find it has affected the fabric of the community?Someone has put in planning permission for one in South Dell but the feeling is the Dell River has been good enough to do the washing in since the 1600's so why change now? Plus the only social life some of the poor souls get for goodness sake is to wander down withthe bodachs smalls and the bedding to do a wash. You couldn't move to Harris could you Ellie and start to blog ffrom there? Maybe Auchenshuggle could be given Heroch status from Mike?
Frank Incense from The Camel and Magi North Dell
If it's matchmaking I'm your man! Do you have electric on hand for my curling tongs? What weight do these women fight at? Are the men in training? Gosh I can see the Lewis dollar before my very eyes!!
Don King from United States
May I direct you to my previous reply to Calumannabels' Entry form blog. Just goes to show great minds think alike. Or is that fools seldom differ? As for the closure of the wash hoose, well it was a sad day in Prosen street let me tell you, see, its no just the wash hoose for fabric care, persay, it also housed the only local municipal baths. So as you can imagine, short of a dook in the clyde, which is now being discouraged on the grounds of the building of penthouse flats on the site of the old Belvidere hospital, seems it was putting the developers off who didnt think people would be will to pay 拢250,000 for a view of Jeanies ablutions. Dont see the problem masel, but thats folks wi mere money than sense for you. Never mind the fact that these properties face not only electricity pillons but also the Gorbals and are plauged by smoke pollution from the allotments at the end of 'tics training ground. So the citizens of Prosen st have now solved the bathing problem by letting off the fire hydrent at least three times a week. This means almost the entire east end of Glasgow is without water, but the weans dont go to school wi dirty necks. Im just wondering if I could get the hothoose fae the allotment on the back of a tractor and ship it to Harris that way? Its very comfortable and has its own wood burning stove made out of a beer barrel. What do you think the costs involved would be, and would my grow bags wi the tomatoe and cucumber seedlings survive the journey.
GrannyEllie to Frank Incense from Auchenshuggle tryin tae find the light
We have a very good greenhouse racing team here in Corrie. Contact Marvin at the village shop and he will help you out nae bother.
Sunny to Granny Ellie from Bored and skiving off work again
Just to fill me in, does previous experience with the Firestone Tyre Factory count?
Arnish Lighthouse from Stornoway
Since many of the prospective singletons will be on their 'second lap' in life any job that has given experience of recycling would be a solid start for gatting an interview. So if you worked with retmoulds or retreads that would be a start...
calumannabel from Fank HQ Dell sat on the Portaloo with the Gazette
I've also had a look round the recycling bank at Garyvard, and it seems to be the place for recycled candidates with heightened nuptial awareness to hang out. It was such a magnet that it had to shifted from its original position outside the Ravenspoint Centre at Kershader, because it obstructed the traffic to the shop there.
Arnish Lighthouse from Stornoway
I'm yer man - can start immediately. Degree, family man, member of AA and RAC. Know the area - know the people- good nuptial awareness. Used to pairing off in previous position. Have own overalls and a sense of humour. If I don't hear from you I'll start Monday and begin preparing the site without you. Can discuss wage later. PS What does paraffin taste like? Signed CK2
Carlos the jackal Kennedy from Fort William
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