A Dating Festival Update
Posted: Monday, 23 January 2006 |
Comments
I'm totally fascinated & very entertained by the dating blogs. We may even put togedder a galley full o weemen for the occasion. (We have an excellent veteran ladies yole team). But I have 1 question, and I ask also on behalf of some of wur idder Unst bloggers. Are you ready? Sure? What/where/who is the Fank????????
Ruthodanort from Unst
Ah Lakeland! If Dundee is the home of jam, jute and journalism, then Lakeland is surely the home of poets, platsics and pencils. Did you visit Lakeland Plastics to ask if they would produce a new range of utensils dedicated to guga-loving gourmets? There's a definite gap in this market that they could exploit.
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
The Fank is an area of sheep pens on the edge of our village used for separating lambs from mothers, dipping shearing etc. Donald and I had the splendid idea of using the pens to keep single unattached eager daters in some semblance of order. Like Topsy the idea grew and bits got added on like the Big Brother Bochan or Big Broadmoor Bachan as it is known locally. There will be an array of unattcahed folk the like of which is never seen outside Lisdoonvarna in Eire which until now has been the main venue in the world for such shenanegins. We are calling the handsome, the ugly the bewildered and the hypnotised to arms and promise to find everyone the person they've always been looking for. Does that explain everything?
calumannabel from Puffin Towers Cross
The management of the 'I cant believe it's not guga factory' would like to point out that there is already a range of guga, seagull and puffin utensils designed by Jasper Complan their in house guga guru. 'Guga guru?' Wasn't that a T Rex song? I digress.In the factory shop there is a full range of plastic prodders, pushers and an ingenious tool for removing guga wings in one movement - in fact we would say there's something for everyone including a new range of fragrances for the birdman in your life. Gioguga, SeaKayOne, Cachagull etc etc
clarins carter from boots gress
A doctor writes : Alliteration is a complex condition that can bring a family to its knees. Typical treatment is via a recognised reading scheme backed up with regular dental checks. It is prevalent in the Western Isles where many of its sufferers go on to lead productive lives in television and journalism. Life expectancy is not affected by this debilitating condition. Is this the sort of diagnosis you're looking for?
Dr Phil Good from The Lodge Galson
As a nudist friendly fank I thought a life drawing class might be of interest for the fanksters. My Great, Great, Great Auntie Sheila was one of the origional pioneers to Aus which makes her 234, haud yer sel back Donald! She is organising the cruise to get her to the fank as I speak on the promise of all the firths with their kit off purely in the name of art of course. Is this the sort of ancient licentiousness you are looking for?
Rolf from Harris
At that time of year your Great great great auntie sheila will have her pick of Blue Boys when she turns up at the Fank. The Dell lasses canna wait.
Hamish Gainsborough from Tait Modren Dell
Donald is thinking of handing over respinsibility for the BB Bochan to Annie Beag and her Think Tank. Whatever happens Miss Hooley is conming though. I'm getting her room ready.
pete moorland from east dell ness
Donald is thinking of handing over respinsibility for the BB Bochan to Annie Beag and her Think Tank. Whatever happens Miss Hooley is coming though. I'm getting her room ready.
pete moorland from east dell ness
Think Fank! Great Slogan Pete! Chrissie Mary & I would be happy to help with the Bochan Formerly Known as BB & will make start after the Burns Supper.
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
Being a highbrow kin've a babe, I was watching Austrailian Princess last night while waiting for Big Brother to come on so I could research what to expect from the Bochan. Can we have a Ness Princess too? You could get one of those slappers from Monaco (I think that's in Wales as it starts with an M so must me near Manilla) to come over to do the princessing thing and Paul Burrel will do anything to try to be seen as having anything to do with Royalty. Is this the sort of cultural event you are looking for?
Sarah Windsor (ex princess) from The Job Centre, Stornoway
Some years ago I sold my wife at a country fair. Having re-married, I am now seeking a suitable venue to do the same again. Will I get a good price for her at your Dating Extravaganza? Is this the sort of thing you are looking for?
The Mayor from Casterbridge
Dear Mayor The Dell Fank is always on the lookout for fresh blood. We have a thriving local black pudding industry. There are two ways of selling your good lady. The first is very simple. Just sell her by weight. Take her to the pubic weighbridge in your tractor and trailer, weigh her in the trailer then weigh the tractor and trailer on its own. We will accept the weigh ticket but not a photocopy. We pay the going rate usually about 拢2.40 a kilo dressed or ten pence less undressed. Otherwise you can advertise her on the noticeboard in emporio alnjohn in lionel at a halfpence a week ( paid a month in advance) Last week a decent wife was swapped for a hundred breeze blocks and a box of penny dianties so the market is buoyant and there is a demand for new wives with the new registrations due. Put a photo on the island blogging site and you never know. There's a Trevor fella from the Northern Isles looking for a replacement. Your anme reminded me of a book I once read The Mayor of Bonnybridge - crap plot! Wishing you every success. Ps what happened to her moyoress' chain I'm looking for something different for Mother's day?
calumannabel from 'Dun Mating' South Dell Ness
I've been talking to some woman with horns on Arran and she told me about the BB Bochan. As you may know we won celebrity farm thingy and thought we could bring the same level of quality culture to the Fank. Specially with all the discussion regarding ducks v's ducts. The women here are getting restless and scaring my green friend and I've filled my nappy a few times, can you please give them an update on how the fank is going?
Keith and Orville from Harris
Orville Soup. Orville a l'orange. Peking Orville........
Alistair Cook's letters from Arnistien
Dear Keith and Orville I'm sure there's room for both of you esp the duck.
hamish oliver chef from Third Wok from the Sun
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