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I've been wondering recently where Donald was getting all his money from. I thought he might be getting hush money post fank from Ms Middleton but he swore it wasn't. Then I hear on the radio that there has been a spate of lambs disppearing throughout Lewis for the past few weeks. This added to the fact that there is a heap of wool clippings in the loom house behind Donald's croft enabled me to put two and two together and extract a confession from Donald. He has been trimming the lambs and exporting them to Japan as Poodles - the big 'must have' in Nipponese society apparently. The lad has made a killing out of his deception but now he's airing his apology via Island Blogging. So if any disenchanted members of Tokyo society want to email him via the site, he will happily send a recipe to help dispose of the unwanted family pet plus a jar of short dated Mint Sauce from Emporio Alanjohn's. Donald's mother, Donaldina, thinks she dropped him on his head when he was little and attributes this in mitigation for the shortcomings of her beloved son.
Otherwise if you have a poodle check for any traces of blue paint on the back of the neck and the right flank - it may not be a dog. The acid test? Poodle meat is a lighter brown than lamb and not as fatty - please don't ask how I know!